Friendship – Bestfriends or just Friends?

Today we had the annual cross-country for our school. It was one hell of a day. I had a lot of fun. But, things are beginning to fall apart. I began to question my friendship with both H. I don’t know why. Eventhough both of them have the exact opposite personality but they somehow keep on hurting me. I just don’t get it.

H1. Today i told him that he could wear shorts because there are some people that wore shorts for the run. Then he got called by one of the teachers that no one shoud wear shorts. Sorry~! Anyway, i don’t blame him that he left me during the event. I know he will be somewhere ahead of me. But the thing is, when the event was over, i can”t find him anywhere. He didn’t even bother to find me. Or…. I know that….. i am boring and all. But as a bestfriend…. Am i his bestfriend?  Is it just his words? Am i truly his bestfriend? I know i am boring and maybe i don’t deserve to be his bestfriend since he prefer to be with someone fun. He often left me. He often listens to other people when i talk to him. I guess he never take me seriously.. Or maybe….. i take him almost in everything too serious. If thats the case…. i will walk away from his life… Its because…………… i know i was never a good bestfriend to him..

H2. He barely speaks to me.. almost everyday.. Maybe he kept reminding himself that bad things that i accidentally did to him. Am i just someone not important to him? Maybe i always hurt him subconciously…… I’m pathetic… I’m sorry….

 I know non of my bestfriends read this blog…… after all… who am i to them in their life… I am just someone…… i have never been so special to anyone.. and i always try to make my bestfriends the most special people on earth.. i just wish they realised that…..

I just hope… that someday.. both of them visits this blog…..